Serious Mass Mastery: Real-World Bro Science from the Legends
Josh and The Manchild destroying the lobster buffet at the Indian Casino circa 2005.
“You ain’t gonna get big eating poultry!” Garry Frank barked as we inhaled steak and eggs at Waffle House at 2 AM after a squat session. And he wasn’t wrong—ain’t nobody adding serious bulk nibbling like a bird!
This reminds me of my first powerlifting mentor, Steve Holl. When asked about his cardio routine, he just grinned and said, “I eat fast!”
Then there’s Brother Turner, a made-up name to protect the identity of a real straight-laced Mormon gym bro I knew at the YMCA. This guy was a massive tank at a lean 240 pounds of raw steel, and he preached his bulking gospel to any skinny kid who’d listen. One day, someone asked him how to bulk up and Brother Turner didn’t hold back, “You’re not eating enough! If that still doesn’t work, stick a cork up your ass, chug 3 gallons of milk a day, hammer out 20-rep breathing squats, dips, and pullovers three times a week. And fall asleep watching Conan the Barbarian to reprogram your mind!”
At 5’10” and 240 pounds of solid muscle, Brother Turner wasn’t just talking. His bulking strategy was as simple as it gets: “Eat more than you think you can, then eat more after that.” No fancy diets—just relentless eating and lifting.
In this article, I’m not just sharing wisdom from Steve Holl and the tank, Brother Turner, but also from other legends who’ve mastered the art of packing on serious mass. This isn’t about “right” or “wrong”—it’s bro science and CYM (Cover Your Mass) knowledge from those who’ve lived it. Like it or not, this stuff works. I’m not here to endorse or condemn any of it—I’m just bringing you people who’ve done it in the real world, with results to back it up. If you’re serious about bulking, it’s time to eat big, train bigger, and think the biggest. No shortcuts—just serious results.
The Wisdom
“ I was trying hard to put on some weight and was stuck. I was training one summer at this hole in the wall garage gym called “The Zoo” in Lubbock, TX. I sought some advice from this “amateur bodybuilder” who had a nice Dbol bloat going, and he told me to replace my water intake with milk instead. I basically took that method and instead of replacing all water intake added a 2 glass of milk minimum to every meal or snack. Honestly, it got me over the 220 mark for the first time.”
-Jeff Lofton (Texas football coaching legend, toughman competitor, college football player)
“Never get hungry and you will get huge.”
-Steve Holl (powerlifting legend–my first mentor)
“You ain’t going to get big on wild rice and poultry; that is why Waffle House is my home away from home.”
-Garry Frank (world-record powerlifting legend, strength coach)
“The Force Feed Principle which is as follows: Post workout, immediately steady state cardio of your choice(elliptical,walk,jog,stair stepper) sip fruit juice,dextrose drink mixed with protein powder over duration of time doing cardio.
Concept is that it’s impossible to burn fat and put on fat at the same time. So by being in the fat burning zone while doing cardio only one other place your post workout meal can go. Directly shuttled into muscle stores.
I think Mike Mentser or someone else would eat ice cream while running post workout, I heard.”
-JP Mikheal (strength coach, athlete, jailhouse weight pile legend)
“Alternate liquid meals with solid meals for fastest digestion and more total daily calories.
Drink full fat milk and/or pineapple juice with meals or throughout the day, snack on nuts with dried fruits.”
-Eduardo Barrecheguren (spanish strength coaching legend, influencer)
“Drink 10 eggs every morning and eat twice your weight in protein ! Sleep more and don’t do cardio !”
-Ty Cone (Masters bodybuilding champion, personal trainer)
“Eat big, sleep big, train big to get big. We called it “slothing.” You can’t burn the candle at both ends. Drink a six-pack of Ensure—360 calories each in 8 oz. Eat 4-5 meals. Sleep. Don’t run around and burn calories you don’t need to burn; you burn enough when you train.
If you can’t eat enough food, blend it and drink it. Not just protein shakes—protein shakes with eggs, oatmeal, whipping cream, anything to hit your calorie, protein, and carb goals.”
-Billy Mimnaugh (powerlifting and bodybuilding demigod)
“My favorite bulk advice is the calorie per bite or calorie per dollar approach.
When meal prepping take your high calorie meal and mash it down as much as you can to decrease the volume of the food. This will increase calorie per bite and make the meals look smaller visually allowing for more food mentally. Add sauce for increased texture and additional easy to digest calories.
When eating out at restaurants and fast food, order your meals on calories per dollar to get the most bang for buck hitting your targets on the scale while still maintaining social life.”
- Jordan Betz (tactical strength coach, D1 strength coach, powerlifter)
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